...and miles to go before I sleep.

 Our "Cabin in the Woods" weekend at Beavers Bend State Park....

First, I share the "Cast of Characters" - these brave, courageous, (ill-informed) friends who willingly joined me on this adventure!  One of them had come with me before, however, that in no way prepared her for the death-defying experience of this trip!   The other simply dove-in (many, many, many creek crossings, poles first!  That they did not kill me in my sleep after this adventure, is something I will be forever grateful for!
That they seem to still consider me a friend, is the most precious treasure found on the trip!
But, we shall see just how true that friendship is if we get another opportunity to go back!


Meet "Smiles"...

Her nickname for this trip is fitting, as that's who she is....someone with an inner joy that leaks out in her amazing smile.  Always, a smile.  I tried to capture a picture of her not smiling, and even on our "trail of tears" - still -- she smiled.   I asked her to come on this "retreat" with me because she too, in her own way, has a full life of giving....and giving....and giving. I was giddy with the thought of being able to "give back" to her in this way.   The only thing bigger than the smile of this woman of God, is her heart for the Lord, her church, her family, and the Early Learning Center and Christian School she is a Director of.   I admire her in many ways, the grace of her smile, in not letting life's uncertainty, challenges, stress,  ---take that way.  She embraces all of life with all of her.  Quiet strength, fierce determination, makes Smiles the born leader she is.  Smiles is focused, yet not without moments of pure hilarity, as in when she kissed the trail marker on a tree after not seeing one for what seemed like eternity!   Her bravery!  She was the first to stand over a 50ft sheer cliff to see a waterfall, the first to wade through raging waters to sit at a flooded picnic table, the first to climb down rocks to get up close and personal with river rapids.....

A lover of nature and of all things "Wood".
The kind of friend who will always have your back - (and who will carry your backpack for you when you can't anymore!).
I know of only one other person who had a smile like she has...her Daddy.  
"Smiles" is somone who brightens the world around her, and I am blessed to know her.
If you need to find Smiles, look for her under the stars...
(...and blocking my number from her cell phone!)



Meet "Poles"...

Her nickname for this trip thanks to the trekking poles she used (that we all needed to have on that trail that shall never be mentioned again!).   Somehow it was just fitting, her and the poles.  This was her first (and hopefully not last) trip to the cabin, and little did she know what she was in for!  If you are around her, you might (as I have) think of her as shy, quiet.  A behind-the-scenes, out-of-the-spotlight  servant of God.  Much like the picture of her in the hammock, you might think she was invisible.  But she's not.  She is humble, and that is heartwarmingly refreshing.  With that said, I saw a side of Poles that I'm sure few see, or in her words: 

"I'm glad you all were there with me, because no one would believe I did that!"

I saw Poles as a woman who is fun and brave.  An adventurer eager for adventure.  A woman who was slightly suspicious as to why her hammock was stretched over ashes!!!   

Poles is a leader challenging herself and others to get out and serve, sharing the gospel with all who would be willing to hear!  Poles is a pursuer of Christ's guiding for her life.  I saw a bravery that I'm sure surprised even her, as her initial "no way" several times turned into a picture of her indeed climbing on the edge of the cliff pictured, and not just  that, but a killer pose as well!  My picture on that particular cliff looks like I'm scared to death and there under duress!  Poles is serious, but not without moments of silly!   She too, loves the Lord, her family, her children, her Grandson, and is the Energizer Bunny extraordinaire of her church where she is the thread that weaves the staff together.  I was thankful that she could come.  I think like all of us, she was able to see just exactly what she was made of on this trip.  She overcame.  She persevered.  She conquered.  
She is amazing.
If you need Poles, you can find her standing, not sitting, at her desk most likely doing squats on wedges in training for her next big adventure in a realllllyyyyyyy big ditch.

Meet me, "Miles"...

I nicknamed myself on this trip.  

Before we embarked on our adventure, I was looking for a headband for each of us - and came across one that turned out to be way too appropriate for our little "adventure".    

"...and miles to go before I sleep" turned out to be prophetic!  For that trail that shall never be mentioned, for my life, for me!  Often, those 'miles to go before I sleep' center around caregiving in my "Life with Autism, Seizures, & a side of PANDAS".   With far too few opportunities to escape, hardly any to be able to escape with my husband, - that when I do get to escape, I walk a hundred miles an hour with my hair on fire!   The look in that first picture is pretty much that "what in the fresh hell did I just get myself into" on that Skyline Trail!  I'm way too serious at times, mainly because my life is on a level of serious few can fathom.  So to see that look captured, was a gift.  It's not often I have those moments of letting go, so I appreciate the friend who took the time to capture "me moments" - of me.
I think of myself as a Wanderlust Soul living in a Snow Globe Solitude.  These trips, however fleeting, have been priceless and I am forever grateful for the one who was gracious enough to offer it, the husband who couldn't go but supported me in going, and those friends willing and eager to join me.
These trips have challenged me in ways that I have needed.  The "first's" of the harsh realities of being married but having to live life often as single because of no out-of-home-overnight respite.  The first solo trip, the first time to have a Smore over an open fire pit, the first hike solo with only All Trails (...and God) as my navigator, and this trip, the first time in a hammock! 

  I sometimes describe myself as "Living on the Edge of Crazy yet not too far from Sane" -- and that Skyline Trail, and the picture above of how narrow that trail up Mt. Everest was, proved that far too literally for my comfort zone!  Those sections of the hike were the only ones I was thankful for my heavy backpack that I would shift to one side to help lean me toward the top, not the bottom!  

Each time I have gone to this cabin, I've had to be brave in a new aspect.  This time hugging that tree for dear life as that Waterfall Cliff was not 5 inches behind me!  

This trip to the "Cabin in the Woods" humbled me. 
Not that I think of myself in a prideful way, but in that I think I can do all by myself.  And for a certain amount of time on that trail of tears, I had to lean on others.
Yet another first.
If you need to find me, I'll be in my Fish Tank at home (it's a GUPPY thing) climbing over even more obstacles eternally in my path.

Ok, now, "for the rest of the story..."

Short story is that these two below pictures describe our day.
A trail marker written in what I'm sure is the blood from previous hikers who attempted this trail, and another marker absolutely useless when you have that moment where you want to call the Park Ranger to come get you the heck off this trail to nowhere!

Skyline Trail.
I would like to say I'm still not done processing this particular hike. "Skyline Trail"- the words we shall not ever mention again, ever. We didn't know it at the time, but when we went to the Beaver's Bend State Park Heritage Center to get some momento's of our trip, we saw that the only trail at the park that had its own t-shirt named after it, was "Skyline Trail." Had we known that, it might have caused us to stop and ponder why. That, and the fact that when I went to the counter with my map of said trail that we shall never speak of again, I learned that it's also the only trail you have to sign-in to hike, so that 3 days later when you still haven't returned to sign-out from that "5 hour hike" (that took us over 8 hours), they can go send a crew to find your remains. That is, if they can find the trail markers on the back half that we never saw to know where on the trail we might have dropped dead!  Although our route was on the All Trails outline the entire time, the mileage we did, did not match up to the mileage listed. All Trails said the trail was 9.5 miles. I thought that included the 2 miles on the road back to your car.  We had done 9.5 miles then saw the road to walk those two miles back to our car! I guess God saw fit to perform the miracle of multiplying our miles not our speed!

Allow me to share what "All Trails" had to say about Skyline Trail - with the point that this was the only "Hard" trail listed for that area.

"Generally considered a challenging route, it takes an average of 4h 28m to complete. This is a very popular area for birding, camping, and fishing, so you'll likely encounter other people while exploring...."
"Trail is very steep at times. Several potentially difficult water crossings (especially after hard rains). Keep an eye out for trail markers as the trail can be easily lost at times."

After I got back to the cabin, I scrolled through reviewers of the hike, to see if I was just really out-of-shape in how HARD it was, and I saw this honest review for validation:

"I'm not sure how people are finishing this hike in under five hours. I'm by no means a star athlete but I am an experienced hiker. Took us about 8 hours.....this trail gave me Hiker's knee....."

Ha!
This trail gave me Buyers Remorse!

That trail description should read more like:
Just try to survive this in a day.  We dare you.   No matter what we consider it to be, you will find it your worse hiking nighmare in sheer distance and depth.  We say it will take 4 or 5 hours, but what we really mean is that will get you through the first half of the beautiful cliffs, valleys, river-crossings, and waterfalls that you barely have time to enjoy the beauty of because you are busy rationing your food and water you are nearly out of already.  While we say it's 'likely' you will encounter others on this trail, you really won't.  Smart people know better.  Unlike the 3 young men we saw going the opposite way we just came, with only a bottle of water in their hand.  I doubt their bodies will ever be found.  When we say the trail is steep at times, what we really mean is that it's straight up with a barely 2 foot trail and no guardrail.  When we say the several water crossings could potentially be difficult, we mean that you best bring waders and a life jacket. 

And this....my favorite part of the description:
When we say to keep an eye out for trail markers as the trail can be easily lost sometimes, we really mean good luck with that on the back half when you won't see any. 

The only true thing about that trail, was the big red STOP sign across yet another raging river we had to cross.  

The trail above it was yet another STEEP incline - and the stop sign said something to the effect of STOP!  TURN AROUND!  DO NOT ATTEMPT!

Where I might have considered doing just that, the thought of going back up, down, & across what we just went up, down, & across? 

In the words of Heather Land, "I Ain't Doin It!"

And we didn't.
Poles, Smiles, & Miles, each, in our own way, pressed on.  We fought those inner battles that only we can fight, and conqueor.  We thought about calling a Ranger, we asked each other if we should call a Ranger, and at one point actually came across that marker pictured that would have shared our location to a Ranger - but it was blank!
I'm somewhat thankful for that.
That we all did not turn back or quit.  I am surrounded by people in my life who do that, who when it gets hard, they leave, they ignore, they do not pursue.
These women - these women gave me such HOPEISM in how they pressed on and pursued!
We each had our own thoughts on enduring I am sure.  It was a very challenging mental game more than anything. I felt bad for them, because I had chosen this hike, not them; and for a hot minute or two I felt bad physically because I did not bring the right nourishment with me.  But I would have felt far worse had we not all together "pressed on and finished this race."  

That is my thanks to the Lord for me, and my prayer for them, that this experience brought out something in them, in some way, as it did for me.

In closing....this below picture.....
When we finalllllllyyyyyyyyyy came out of the endless woods to a road we recognized, we were tired, had little water left, and it was approaching sunset.  Over 8 hours of tedious trails of amazingly beautiful waterfalls, creeks, hills, valleys, and gentle sloping meadows left us depleted.  
I did call the Park Ranger for a lift that two miles to our car.  We had already done 9.5 through the woods, I felt secure in the fact that we completed that trail!
When he answered the phone he asked where we were, and I'm like, "I don't know, just come get us!"

And he did.

We were never so happy to see that Cabin in the Woods.

Poles, Smiles, & Miles -----
We earned these below shirts.
We will wear them, but we won't ever speak of that trail again.
Except for me......
I'm just that stubborn. 
I will go back to that spot in the road our Superhero-Ranger picked us up at, and I will walk it back to the spot I parked my car.

One last thing about that day, that hike.....

I had no idea it was to storm that evening.

The moment we walked in the Cabin, we heard thunder.  And more thunder.  And it rained.

Had we still been out on that trail --- 

God had our back.

As he always has.

And always will.

I just marvel at that.

Skyline Trail is "Where HOPEISM Bloomed" for me that day. 

In the midst of my foibles, failures, and fumbling, I learned such FAITH!