Of Faith, Fumbling, & a Frog

 

I felt like this Frog today.

Upside down.

Hanging on by my fingertips.

When I seem to fail at people, (or when they fail me), I turn to Nature.  Nature never fails.  Nature is much like my son, what you see is what you get.  A Cat 5 Hurricane one moment, the perfect beach day the next.

I was feeling so down today - people are mean.  They just are.  Not personally....but sometimes their actions are.  What's worse is that they seem to justify those actions, never apologizing for them.    

I suppose these are good lessons I've learned of late, I need to learn to move on.  To be more like Kenny Rogers I suppose, in knowing when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run......    lol..........  no.   That's not what God calls us to do.  We are to forgive, love.  And I so desire to be like Christ in that - no matter how often I personally fail at it because of my own flesh. 

I need to remember that while others choose distance, God chooses devotion.

I've seen that lately more than ever before.

As I've embraced a part of me I've kept hidden for so long because the memories too painful - I am a #Jerseygirl through and through.  I grew up in Barnegat Light, NJ.   The Shore.   Y'all everywhere else go to the beach --- I spent my childhood going to the shore.    I returned there last year after nearly two decades away - and it was magical.  It was Healing.  It was above all -  HOPEISM.

But more than being a #Jerseygirl --- 

I'm a #Jesusgirl.

I didn't realize just how much until recently in such a season of lonlieness.

It made me realize so much more of just how deeply I crave God.  

God has never failed me, even though I have failed him (and others) so very many times.  He's never punished me, called me names, ignored me, played these games of "tit for tat" with me where if I wronged him, he wrongs me.  

God will always do the right thing no matter how wronged HE is!

That is what keeps me going, pursuing, trying - in the face of my own failures in that.

The times lately that I've been frustrated & found myself hanging by the tips of my fingers, he has been holding me up.  Arms stretched to catch me should I fall.  

The names he's called me are beloved, forgiven, worthy, valued ---

HIS!

To know, to realllyyyyy know, that nothing I can do will change HIS LOVE FOR ME, is the greatest thing in this universe.  It really is.   That unconditional love, it's life changing.

Where others respond in meanness, HE responds with Mercy.

Where others dish out condemnation, HE serves Compassion.

The times I've responded with grit, HE gently reminded me to perhaps use a bit of HIS Grace.

Where my whole world it seems has been turned upside down, HE reminds me to look UP.

To HIM.

And I just marvel at the simplicity in that.

The HOPEISM of that.

The beauty in that.

Whatever you are facing in life, in this season, in this moment....

Hang on.

Jesus has your back.

He will not let you fall.

You will never be forgotten, forsaken.

You may feel alone, but you are not alone.

God has you sharply focused in his lens.

And what a beautiful picture you are in his eyes.